Content note: chemical pregnancy
I was looking for a donor in 2013. I was nearly 35 with a 10 year old daughter and had not had a successful relationship for some years but was worried about my fertility and age as I always wanted another baby. I joined a site called [Content removed to maintain anonymity] and set up a profile. I stated I wanted AI only and sperm donation rather than a co parent relationship. It took less than a month to find the right donor. I’d had a few messages by then but none had given me the right feeling.
One day I had a message offering to donate and when I checked his profile I saw that he was very attractive. When we began messaging I felt comfortable as he wanted money. I liked that his intention appeared money based rather than sex. He asked for less than £100 which was affordable. The following month he came to my house. I had purchased an AI kit online from [Content removed to maintain anonymity]. The donor was very polite and professional and used my bathroom and handed me the cup 5 minutes later. It was all very quick and easy. I used a syringe to put the sperm in the right place following advice from [Content removed to maintain anonymity] where I had bought the kit.
The first month was successful but I had a chemical miscarriage at 4 weeks, 4 days. I tried again and was pregnant the following month. I had a healthy baby daughter. When the baby was a few months old I decided to have another baby. I had good email contact with the donor still and he agreed to donate again. This time we decided to do it naturally and we had sex. Again, I was pregnant the first month and again I had another early loss. I became pregnant with another daughter on the 2nd month. She was also healthy. The girls were 18 months apart and I felt very happy and proud of my journey and the resulting 2 children. They are now 3 and 4.5 years old and just started school and nursery.
I’m 39 now and have decided to have one more. I have kept email contact going with the donor and exchanged a few pictures and updates of the girls. He is happy to donate again. This time I have purchased another AI kit from [Content removed to maintain anonymity] and he has agreed to do AI again. If it works I will have 3 children with the donor ultimately. He has no contact with them as agreed. He is willing to meet them once when they’re 18 if they are curious about their donor. I will consider that nearer the time. The girls and I are very happy and I’m hoping this time for a boy although will be happy with either.
This has been a very positive experience for me. I’m still single and now am not looking for anyone to become a parent with as I have successfully managed single motherhood and life feels complete. Now I can concentrate on what I want in a partner rather than whether they would want children or what kind of parent they would be. While my children are young I would not allow a future partner to be in their life. I am happy raising my children on my own.
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