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Content note: sexual threats, mental ill-health

Tim's story


I was a relatively new donor to the scene, in my early 20's, when I had a very tough experience. Whilst highly educated, I do have mild Asperger, that can make me a little socially naive, sometimes. On [online sperm donation connection website] I was approached by a woman in her early 40's who claimed to be a [content removed to protect anonymity] student. I was also a postgraduate at the time, so thought this would be an easy connection and someone I could help. Kind of rushed into helping her, which was a bad move. The day I told her to her face that she should perhaps find a different donor, after a few tries - and I wasn't feeling too comfortable with her - she flipped on me. Locked the door to her house then in slow calculating tones - "bed or police". Ie you are staying here and having sex with me, otherwise I will report you to the authorities. I managed to divert her by insisting that I needed the loo - so managed to get a breather, during which I switched my iPhone to record. A few more times she repeated her threat (which I still have a file of the recording for). Escaping through the bathroom window, I escaped. It turned out the lady had a long history of [mental ill-health]. While highly intelligent, with a complex life history - which I felt high sympathy for initially, she was very violent and unpredictable. She texted me a lot of threatening messages after, to which I didn't respond. Luckily no authorities showed up, but for a good few months after I was very very nervous around any door bell rings! As a good Samaritan gesture, having worked out her GP practice, I did contact her care providers and ask that they look into getting her assessed. I hope she got the care she needed

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